I picture Lord baby Jesus wearing an Old Navy Pullover

Is it just me or does anyone else want to punch this kid square in his growing little freckled nose? Sorry Burpo, but even if I thought your story was even remotely true, I would still tell you to f*ck off just because of your irritatingly pretentious personality... Colton fucking Burpo??? Seriously. Wasn't this kid just on TV, taking a ride in a balloon?

Look, I'm not in the business of calling little kids liars, but this kid is a fucking fraud half full of dog shit.... And his parents are full of holy shit as well... Now, Todd... I appreciate all of the countless hours you and the little Re-Todd spent rehearsing, but those ambigiously detailed descriptions are a little bit suspect. Not to mention the fact that your 4 year old just wrote a f*cking book, when he can't even read the cue cards his mom is holding up over there.... Somewhere between the sea blue eyes, world lighting smile, and colossally large hands, you lost me....

I'm not sure who is taking advantage of who here... Is it the boy, who has figured out that using the phrase, "I saw Jesus" and a short story, can get him out of any trouble with his miracle seeking parents?.....  Is it the parents who have discovered the miracle that using the phrase, "I saw Jesus"... sells fucking books?...... Or, is it the news producer that who knows that the phrase,"I saw Jesus".. makes for incredibly amusing news material, and the paradisaical joke is on us?

While I do appreciate the sell job from the overly intrigued news caster, I just don't think she is really THAT excited about Jesus.. So, I'd probably vote for this enterprising father for "dad of the year".... Think about it. If I had a smug little shit of a son, who thought he could have me in his back pocket by feeding me full of inspirational bullshit. I too would play his little game and do exactly what Todd did....
First, I would take him somewhere really special, like Old Navy, and get some classy new quarter zip pullovers. Then, I'd schedule an urgent breaking news spot for us to make a national television debut. Together, unified in fleece, that little f*cker could ruin his own adolesence by telling the whole world how he had angels sing to him as he talked with a dead baby fetus, played catch with young grandpa, and took a unicorn ride with Hitler.

Good for daddy... This parapsychological patriarch, however, took it a step further, and when his wife was so gullibley awe struck at her priggish little miracle, he had her, under the creative direction of her 4 year old, write a future best seller.... Then got a free sales pitch on public television.

Truly inspired... Even St. John the baptist would put his hand up to the square, for a high five on that one...

Look, Todd..... I wouldn't want to hear this story if you told it to me for FREE at some holiday party this week.... The fact that you want $19.99 for some half cocked horseshit your son came up with, to get out of being disciplined, is degrading.... But something tells me, There are enough people down on their luck, or who will pay their last $20, grasping for some brief reassurance, only given to them by a fictional story of a 4 year old playing red rover with Michael Jackson and the son of god...
Great f*cking plan, and I'm sure you will be chuckling all the way to the bank.

Looks like Todd got the last laugh.... Or did he?...

Here's where the story gets really F'd up.... you know, when this dad is on his deathbed, his then grown, swarthy little son, Colton, will finally get his revenge for this childhood destroying news story. When he gets really close to Todd's frail ear and revealingly whispers his long held secret,"Yaaaa, you know that whole heaven is for real thing I told you about?... I was just fucking with ya."

Hey Burpo... You and your boy are both still very sick.... I think you both are ReTodds.