Man says he was forced to eat beard

You know this shit is going to be good as soon as you see this oversized fifth grader's head squeezed into that tiny hat adorned with a confederate stripper... Truly southern style....."When I get thur, I realize they is already drunk"...... Is anyone in Kentucky not drunk? I'm pretty sure that 85% of the commonwealth residents have a homemade backwoods whiskey still bubbling high octane moonshine straight into an IV...

Seriously, a $20 lawn mower? Who is the dipshit here?.... The two ton savvy shopper that ate his own beard? The dumbasses that thought pulling a gun on a 400lb. legally blind walrus, and feeding him his own facial hair was some sort of punishment?.... or once again a pathetic team of news reporters, who put a $20 lawnmower as their breaking prime time story?... Especially when this shit happened in May of last year.

I don't know which part made me laugh harder, when the 'big boned bluegrasser' descriptively explains, with precise detail, exactly what happened, "One thing led to another... Before I Know'd it, there were Knaaves and guuuns, erythang just went haywire."........or the look on his face as he explains the horrible torture he experienced, "They cut my beard and forced me..... to eat it. "....  I could listen to that shit all day.

How the hell does he say that with a straight face? and, Why is it so funny to here him describe eating something? If you wanted to terrify this dude, take his lawnmower and tell him he has to run the 3 miles to your house to come and get it.... Tell him the Popeye's chicken next to the Gas 'n Go burned down.... but don't tell this f*cker he has to eat something... Just throwing it out there, but I'm guessing that husky Harvey has eaten things 10x's more terrifying than his own fucking beard.

Everyone involved in this story deserves a backwards, sister lovin, red-neck slap on the ass..... But if you really wanted to see all of them torturously shit down both legs before they'all know'd it..... Tell them Kentucky was in fact, NOT a confederate state, but a border state, and never left the union...
Northern Style. Bitch.