Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Sequinthhs in Seattle

Some people make things so much harder than they need to be.. For instance... You know with all the cloudy doom and rainy weather, Seattle is the suicide capital of the U.S..... Why would you add, being a inconsequential spot journalist, doing a story on a sale, at a thrift store....
And not even a good one... Quick... If you are such a talented eyewitness, with an exquisite eye for documenting detail, I want you to quickly tell me exactly how many bracelets this dude was wearing??? Seriousthhhhly.

The way I see it, the frumpy gap toothed beat reporter had it coming.... Here she is, asking painfully obvious questions and shoving a microphone in the willing mouth of an overstimulated sparkle queen, at the check stand of a "designer" sale.... Am I the only one who sees this as a recipe for disaster... I do know it's about time one of these benign, time waste stories climbed up and bit someone in the ass.... Who knew it would be from the snaggled overbite of this unibrowed Scary Bradshaw...

I don't have a communications degree... but here's some journalism for you. Let's step up the questions .... Need I suggest a few that could be quickly answered by this video spot:
What does a gay recession look like?
What the hell is a 32 year old gay man doing dressed as a 14 year old Bosnian rec league basketball player?
What would happen if Ross the intern and Perez Hilton had a love child?

While the newscaster didn't impress me. The truth is Mr. Sparkle's lispy reply will be stuck in my head all day... I'm no TV producer, but I play one on my blog from time to time... If you know this dude, have him give me a call.  It just so happens that I heard of an opening which I think would be right up this guys alley (not like that)... It involves performance, countless costumes, lots of smiles, a few sequins.... and I know he will like this.... Plenty of ass... only problem is, he might have to clean up the language for the audience.  I Think it's the perfect fit, given his extremely animated nature..

Sorry news team... I think the more tragic story for today in the Northwest would be, "If you are a gay man in Seattle... it's time to move".... However, I've got a terrific idea for a follow up story... How about in 2 weeks we find our fabulously flamboyant fruitbasket and see how excited he is, after he tries to get semen out of all those fucking Theeequinths.

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