Friday, January 21, 2011
You know when something says don't look at it, it is going to be good. Hat's off to this puddle of murky perversion for his voyeuristic version of a retarded ginger superhero... I can only imagine the hours it took to carefully render each 4 inch follicle of radish pubic hair and create this glistening bag of smashed assholes.... You are one sick f*ck.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Look, I made a lot of mistakes in 2010... Perhaps I was a bit too lazy, a bit too cynical. Maybe I need to eat less and exercise more... But let me introduce you to my biggest mistake of 2010... Never giving proper dues to the incredibly charismatic Mr. James Nyte.
I can't understand a fucking word he said, but we all know it is the thought that counts... and I could not think of a better way to start my new year than enjoying the harmoniously sweet refrains of Mr. Nytes heartpouring ballad... Easily the best 6 minutes of 2011.
I find this all incredibly inspiring. Although the words may be as distinguishable as his impeccable tattoo choices depicting the 2010 BP oil spill. His song and look is inescapably catchy and his message is crystal clear.... Kind of.... Well, in a meth induced, autotuned sort of way.... Either way it has me screaming,"I want to be like James Nyte."
Think about it... Minus the Tim Mcgraw meets cocaine vibe, this mother fucker is totally content with 3 chords, a fresh patch of milk weeds, a blanket booster seat and a few sparkle effects. Of everything on earth, this guy is telling us that THIS is what he thinks is the shit.... Damn, I wish I was so easily content... How much cooler would life be if all I needed was a dew rag, a gravity defying Casio, and a rat tail of amphetamines the size of fucking jump rope?...
Instead I have wasted my time with the trivial things in life such as dental care, sleeves, and sobriety. Starting today, I am going to scratch all of my benign resolutions for the new year and simply live by a new set of rules. I will see the world in a new way.... A simple new resolution I call "Nyte Vision".
Any guy who's only distinguishable line is "All's I know..." is all's right with me... Truly inspirational, James. You've got me so motivated about this au courant outlook on things, that I too am going to have to tightly tie a shirt around my waist to hide how excitedly stimulated I am about the fresh new year.
Like a dream come true.