Monday, October 25, 2010

Things could be worse...

Last time I posted about the strange polygamist family with their own TV show on TLC... Or more importantly the creepy dad.
After thinking about it, there are probably some worse family situations out there.... And in no way am I going to post at their expense..... believe me, we are all laughing  WITH you.

There are plenty of same sex couples now days adopting kids. It is widely acceptable in today's culture..  Gone are the days of the unknown and wild speculation of what would happen to a child raised by two fathers... Just when society takes a step forward it's dip shits like these that take us all 2 steps back...

I understand that the fear of public scrutiny may be an awkward big step at first, and that you may feel like hiding it.... But this is not a good idea. We know who you are, and we don't care. Although this might have been YOUR fantasy, you are seriously fucking up your kid by making him believe he is a feral child, left to be raised by gay ninjas.

See, this is more like it.... My 2 dads, and the family on vacation..... or is that 3 dads? 2 dads and a mom? 3 dads a sister and.... what the fuck is that on the top anyway?

Just a bit confusing... and the dynamic is a bit strange. Now that I think about it, I don't think it is a same sex thing... No gay man, or men, would make their family dress up in full head to toe denim with braided belts. The pose threw me off a bit at first, but i love the creativity.... I'd give you knuckles or bones for that... but it looks like you guys already have that taken care of.

Why the hell would you ever want to document this? They say there is nothing like a mothers love.... but this bitch's heart is out of this world.
We all understand that daddy left because mommy made some bad decisions... but let's end the cycle. Instead of paying for that galactic family photo, how about putting that money towards a counseling session so little Sybil doesn't go apeshit and start shooting up the whole school... Seriously, I think the pigment in the hair dye is starting to get to her... O.k... Maybe i'm a little paranoid with all the campus shootings going on,.. but YOU look at her trying to cast a spell and possess the photographer's soul and tell me that shit is normal.

This picture just screams, "mommy can't say no!"... C'mon, you have said no before, plenty of times. Take this morning for instance.... Picture day, and you said no to make up or hair products.. No, to a traditional background. You wanted something with a more "hippie kidnapped by eccentric alien sorcerers" vibe.

Look, 8th grade is hard enough for some kids. By sending yours to school looking like a vampire had a gang bang with Elvis and a dead condor, then aborted the evil baby,... you might as well just take that eyebrow pencil straight to their forehead and write,"Please fuck with me."  This is an open invitation... Just don't be mad at us when some kid finally takes the invitation, and everyone ends up dead.... Let's save your kids and another mom's kids as well... Time for mommy to make some good decisions... Time to get rid of the guns.... knives.... harsh chemicals...

..and on second thought, hide those fucking hair clippers too.  

Nothing tests the bonds of la familia like a recession... Damn you Obama.

And why wouldn't you?..... You mean to tell me you've got some guy selling his kid for beer and meat and these two spent money on this shit?  Maybe THEY got the better deal??? Because this shit is worth every penny. 

You got to give it to Greg for stepping up and filling in for his brother in law while he was gone... With the baby on the way what was his sister to do?
C'mon, you know if she had a goatee or he had longer hair... it's the same F'n dude!!! Leaving me to believe they are siblings. Siblings without any care for a dollar, but who care a whole lot about each other.

I would say, get some self respect but apparently these two respect their bodies a little more then the rest of the world respects them... Good for them... I love the statement that a couple knows this is as good as it is going to get for them, so they make the obvious choice to document it... I get it. I do.... just keep that shit to yourself... No one wants to look at a picture and subconsciously feel a clammy beer gut and bushy ball park plumping up in the small of their back.

This is what I call a great father, patriarch and man... Any man who would care about another man, enough to let that man drink his way into forgetting about his haircut, is a great man.

Two explanations: either time is going by soooo slowly for this dad that he actually believes his daughter is 18 by now..... or all of the second hand hot boxing has stunted her growth and she is actually 22...  Either option would totally explain why daddy is bringing her to the grateful dead show...
Something tells me this girl is going to be alright.... Well, until daddy tells her to start flashing her tiny tits so he can score some more Diggity Dank.
By the way, I knew California was progressive enough to legalize a lot of shit, but when they are selling these as "Foot longs" at the concert concessions stand, it gives a whole new meaning to the term, liberal....
All in all, a great place to raise a kid.

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