Wednesday, October 13, 2010

F*ck the warranty?

A pic really is worth a thousand words... but it just so happens that you chose those to be the words that you felt described you most... First, I find it incredibly awesome... You don't look like a man of many words anyway, Which is why I'm giving you a big high five for the 3 you spelled out for us....

Second, let's look at all the things you didn't say, because you are already a walking billboard for how you feel on those subjects... Fuck the barber... Fuck Drug tests... Fuck hygiene.... Fuck Underwear... Fuck ever finding a girl who hasn't had a major amphetamine problem or multiple baby daddies... Fuck any sort of respectable job or employment in general... How about, Fuck Meteorologists..? Just for the fact that it was 90°+  when I took the pic and you still chose leather chaps and black attire... like you sweat pure golden testosterone and they should bottle that shit and sell it.... You, Boss, have now crossed the line from man to enigma... an enigma and a brand... a brand that had me chanting, "Fuck the Warranty" for days.

Now, I don't mean to second guess your judgement by any means... but don't you think that if you really felt that way, you wouldn't be stopped at the light patiently waiting for a little green arrow to tell you you can go?... Come on man... Fuck authority.... hit the damn throttle and blow that bitch off the line, like you just ripped off your oil soaked glove and bitch slapped the world in the face!... Ride it like the string of flashing lights collecting behind you is normal, and should escort you in a parade of masculinity, instead of trying to catch you... you have a brand to protect and a standard to uphold...

If you don't pick up the pace I might actually believe that you don't feel that way. That, in fact, you really baby the shit out of that old cruzer because that is all you have in life... and instead you try to hide it by spelling it out on a t-shirt, trying to convince everyone of your pseudo hard core attitude... Step it up Boss! Drive it like you don't care.... Stick your tongue down society's throat and ride that badass '87 Nighthawk like that warranty doesn't mean shit to you....  you know....  that same warranty that expired in '92 and doesn't mean shit to the dealership anyway.

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