Gimme an A... Gimme a W... E... S... O... M... E

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I have a hard time telling who is the dipshit here... At first glance it is the pathetic attention whore who after being cut from the redskins cheerleading tryouts is trying to find another avenue to get her attention fix. Let me be the first to give her a tip...don't try acting....unless it is comedy... look, I would have cut your ass too after seeing some of those dance moves. Either way...Fucking hilarious... with all of the jukes and shakes she is getting the poor sap of a husband to fall for, maybe she should have tried out for the actual redskins running back... just make sure she is backward when she starts.
Seriously dude, do you have to go and buy her a stuffed animal toy like she is a real re-tard... we are all aware that she has a few mental issues or MAYBE a few questionable side effects, but you went straight for the hail mary and bought her a fucking stuffed bunny, like she's been retarded since she was four and that is going to make it all better. You are both a wreck. Of course, if I had a wife that would entertain me by talking like that I'd probably buy her a whole "GD" zoo full of furry feel good freinds. If that is the case, I'll give you a high five as a husband and a person... that shit is hilarious.
So that leaves us with one last person for the dipshit award... and that could be the overly dramatic and twice as gullible news reporter, who figured he had finally made his "break through exclusive story" and took this assignment as serious as if it WAS the swine flu... I've got news for you Erkel.. your producers are shaking and jerking in their offices laughing just as hard as I am at the all out effort you gave this piece... I mean come on, running backwards while trying to juggle a mic and fame starved cheerleading hopeful in the middle of a bad Michael J. Fox impression... Truly heartfelt, a real fucking tear jerker... you got me... you got us all.. The sad thing is I think there are two people who got you and the whole inside edition team.. and those are the two people who just waved goodbye, turned around backwards, walked up their steps and shook and convulsed all night with laughter that anyone would believe that completely shitsoaked story....

You're an asshole too...

As a generally optimistic person I bask daily in the guilty pleasure of the unonymous thought. You know what I'm talking about... During any event there is a initial reactionary thought in anyone's head.. Too often this thought is wrestled down before escaping the lips by regard for feelings or social restraints. It's possible that I may be the only asshole around, who behind the bitten lip loves to go through the dialogue in my own head of what "should have" been said or how it "should have" gone down.... But I'm not alone. You are an asshole too. You know you are. Everyone has that reactionary thought that crosses over the line while your mouth stays obediently safe behind. It's true that my thoughts might be a step or two passed the line, or I may linger in the comedy of the moment longer than some but everyone has that initial thought, and I figured it was time that mine now have a home. I find that the best parts of my day sometimes are not ones that play out in actuality, but are the suppressed reactions or imaginary commentary to actual events that replay over and over differently in my head. These provide hours of comedic and alternate material which have always kept me giggling behind the scenes. For no other purpose I figured I would journal these as they occur for my own entertainment, and if anyone else enjoys them, great... If not, I really don't give a shit because I know...... You're an Asshole.